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Every so often it is good to do a temperature check on and for yourself.
Evaluate how things are going. Are you moving in the direction you want to? Are you seeing success or milestones happen as you'd like? Are you stuck?
When I find myself stuck one way to get moving again is to ask--whose choices am I living anyway?
This question can open up doors to explore and see what IS, not what was or what I want it to be.
Am I taking actions that line up with my goals/desires? If yes-GREAT. IF no--well why not? What is in my way? What is holding me back? Who can I enlist for support?
There are a few things that could happen here.
We may find that we are well on our way and things ARE happening for us. We are doing what we need to, achieving what we want to or are heading the right direction. This is awesome and motivation to KEEP GOING! High five yourself and stay the course.
Sometimes when we do this we might find that where we are has nothing to do with our own desires--but from others. Maybe a parent or partner envisioned us doing exactly what we are and have cheered us on with the best intentions, but our heart knows something different is in store. Maybe we were taking direction from our inner 8 year old and what was "supposed" to be. It's ok here to course correct.
You can do this by getting clear with your needs, wants and goals and start to make shifts to them. If you need to you can set a soft boundary around these with your loved ones (even that inner 8 year old). Thank them for their support and let them know you appreciate them AND what direction you want to move. It's not necessary to share why, but depending on the circumstances you may want to and enlist their support in YOUR wants/needs/desires. It is always good to have a team with you on your journey.
But what if none of that is possible? I hear you. I see you. I know this. Sometimes there isn't a change possible. Circumstances dictate you need to stay the course. Your choices feel so far out of reach and unrealistic from your current situation that they just aren't possible. That is true for many of us often. There is a saying that I'm not always a fan of to "make the best of it". I always heard this to settle for what was. It made me feel small and with no power.
I now see that phrase in a different light. To me it is now about accepting. Accepting what is for now. That I may not be able to make a change yet. Within that reframe I can find some space. In that space I can find small choices to be grateful for where I am. To see what is AND where I'd like to be. Sometimes in doing this I can start to find a way to make a shift or plan for WHEN. Finding those helps me find my next best steps (even if they aren't exactly what I want NOW.) Doing this opens me back up to opportunity. From here I can set new goals and make steps to them--even if teeny-tiny they all add up to get me where I want to be eventually.
So I end where we began. Whose choices are you living?
